A blog is a place where you share you're thoughts and writing. My grandmother passed away 6 months ago, and it still feels like yesterday. I was the one to write and deliver the eulogy, which is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I realized if you weren't there, you didn't get to hear it. Until now I never thought to post or share it on any social media with anyone else besides family. Here it is.
"Good
Morning, my name is Anthony DeJulio, Conncetta's first grandson..many of you
knew her as Connie, but she was also called Co- by my grandfather and ma, mum,
mummie, or mamma by my aunts and uncle. My cousins and I would call her Cons, Nons,
or Nonna.
For
the duration, I will be referring to her as Nonna, which means grandmother in
Italian, and is what my cousins and I have all called her all our lives, and
will continue to refer to her as when we remember her and share her memory.
She
would be so proud the way this family came together over past couple of weeks; especially
today to have each one of her grandchildren participating in this mass.
One
thing has become clear, as she was sick and after she passed; when we would
talk about her everyone would smile and laugh rather than get upset, as when
she was alive, she always brought a smile to your face.
Nonna
was born November 10th, 1941 in Roccapalumba, Sicily. She came to America at
the age of 14. Five years later at the age of 19 she met my grandfather at the
moose lodge here in Waltham. They were married 3 months after meeting; and they
were together for life. By the time she was 28 she had 4 kids, 3 of which came
between the ages of 20 & 24. It's crazy to think that by the time she was
my age, she had 3 kids.
While
my grandfather was very strict and old fashioned, Nonna welcomed my father and
uncles with open arms (my Nonno welcomed them too only it took a couple of
months). She loved my grandfather with all of her heart, she would call him
"Aynes", and for the longest time none of us knew why or what it
meant. When we finally asked her she explained that she was calling him Enzo,
short for his name Vincenzo.
She was a young grandmother, she was 48 when I
was born. And her grandchildren were her pride and joy. She used to say all the
time "I have 8 grandson, and one granddaughter, and I'm so blessed"
She would always greet us calling us "Goia" and "Figio
Bello", and when we were hurt she would hold us and say "Figio
Mio!", which in italian is my child.
Nonna
was always happy and it was very easy to get a laugh out of her. You could say the smallest thing not even
thinking it was funny, and she would laugh. She had a smile that was
contageous. Her energy would instantly light up the room. She loved to dance,
at any given function she would be the first one on the dance floor, and the
last one to leave it.
She
was a very nurturing woman, and being in her presence one thing was certain,
you were never hungry when Nonna was around. Even if you had just eaten she
would fill up another plate for you saying that you had to eat more. She would
always say "you too skinny" and "you gotta eat". It seemed
she was always in the kitchen. She loved to cook; some of her signature dishes
were pasta with peas, sfingi, and baked spaghetti with peas and raisins. More
than cooking, Nonna loved to bake, she had her famous "S" cookies or
her orange juice cookies that she brought everywhere, and I know everyone here
knows exactly what cookies I'm talking about. She would always have those
readily available, or her pizzelle. Then, there were Nonna's famous brownies,
to which my cousins and I referred to as "Nonna's Sponges". They were
different than any other brownie you had ever eaten, but before you knew it you
had eaten four, and they were delicious.
After
we ate we would play Scopa, a game played with Italian cards. Towards the end
it seemed like this is all we did, it made her so happy. However, Nonna hated
to lose. You did not want to be Nonna's partner after making a bad move, or
losing a round.
Nonna always loved going to Florida. She was so happy when
my grandfather bought their condo there. It was where she had a lot of her
friends. What she loved more than seeing her friends there, was when her family
was down there with her.
As
I have alluded to, family was the most important thing to Nonna. So much so
that for her 50th wedding anniversary Nonno and Nonna surprised us all at
Christmas with tickets to a cruise later that year. She wanted more than
anything to have a trip with her entire family. That trip gave us memories we
will never forget and always cherish. We came back from that trip with so many
pictures, and Nonna loves her pictures. When you walk into her house the first
thing you notice is that there are pictures, EVERYWHERE. She loved talking
about them, each one had a story and a memory. She would always pull out the
same one of her brother and say to me and Joey, you remind me of my brother or
look like my brother. We gathered she thought that because we are tall like he
was.
Nonna
loved to talk on the phone. So much so that they had to increase her monthly
minutes from 750 to 1500. I remember being in school and getting a call from
Nonna at least once a week, as do my cousins and siblings. We all remember
Nonna loving to talk; on the phone, about pictures, about her grandchildren,
about her family, anything and everything. It's hard to imagine that a time
came where that wasn't possible for her to do anymore.
A
year and a half ago, to try to contain the cancer, her voicebox was removed,
and we would never again hear her speak. The night before the operation, we sat
around the table just listening to her speak and tell stories.
My
grandmother was a very strong woman; she did not let this operation change
her. She still gave the same smile and
energy as she always had done. She would use the same hand gestures when she
talked or communicated, and they were always the same gestures *(make
gestures)* whether she was happy or mad, having a voice, or no voice.
Last
December of 2013 Nonna went to the hospital, and I received a call from my mom,
and I knew it wasn't good news. We all went to dinner, to hear what I had already
feared. We got to the restaurant and sat with my aunts, uncles, and all my
cousins to hear the news.... We were told she would have 4 months to live
without chemo or 6-10 months to live with chemo. We had thought that Christmas
was going to be her last, along with new years.
Like
I said before, Nonna was very strong. She fought and we got to share one final Christmas
and new years with her this year; which was the best gift any of us could have
asked for. Over that time, when she got sick, she never complained, as much
pain as she could have been in, we would ask Nonna are you ok, ma are you
ok? She would mouth to us, I’m ok, I’m
fine because she never wanted us to worry about her.
She passed away
peacefully at home Tuesday afternoon with her family by her side.
I
would like to now introduce my Uncle Mario, Nonna's only son; to share a
reading on the behalf of him, my mother Anna, and Aunts Gina and Lisa. But
before I do, I leave you with this quote -
"Those we love
remain, for love itself lives on, and cherished memories never fade because a
loved one is gone. Those we love can never be more than a thought apart. For as
long as there is memory, they will live on in the heart"
